While I was busy trying to carve a niche for myself in my chosen field, while I was pushing myself too hard than I could withstand, while I continued to search for happiness on one side of this vast world, little did I realize how fast the other side could change.
When I was too tired to even recognize my own emotions and when whatever I was doing became incomprehensible to my own self, I decided to stand still and look around me. My sister who was almost like my philosopher & guardian and with whom I spent lot of time now had a little world of her own...her husband and a newly born. My parents, whom I considered are busy with their own tasks, have now become so tired because of their age. My handful of friends, with whom I shared all my feelings without the insecurity of being judged, had now moved forward with their own life. What am I going to do...Everyone i cared for, now seemed to be in a world which I was not familiar with...and for which I knew not the path...the path which leads me to happiness which I had been searching for elsewhere.
A feeling of distress and helplessness clouded me... What made my hurt even deeper is the realization that it was my laxity which had placed me in this situation...It was not they who had abandoned me but it was me who had willfully neglected their beckoning... Hence it was my duty to find my path of happiness...
In this search, seldom did I knew I'll be blessed with a guide who would make my journey easier... A guide who is one and a half years old, 2 feet tall and... he happens to be my nephew.
I couldn't find any trace of my hesitance in reaching out to the adults, when I was jabbering with my toddler guide. I could sense the scent of fresh hope, when I observed his sources of happiness… The way his face lit up on seeing me the first thing in the morning…the way he hops in joy when he hears a tune he loves…the way he giggles on seeing something he had never seen… the expression of pride and joy when he shows off his broken car to visitors… He does not worry about what others feel about his car being broken…All that matters to him is that it was his car and he loves it…All that he cares for is the presence of those he loves, enthusiasm in discovering new things and above everything…being in the present…
I no longer ponder and feel exasperated in identifying what would bring me happiness… But am living my life by what my guide lives his. To just let go off my fears of future and live in the current moment… To not chase the unreal but to sense the happiness which has never been so far but so near…
Did I say earlier it was my duty to find the path of happiness? Well…now I no longer search…but live…thanks to my guide…
Congratulations! It's taken being turned down a visa and much madness for me to realize the same simple thing :)
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